Most of us can relate to being on the receiving end of other people’s opinions and questions when it comes to having children. Society often assumes that having children is the natural progression of adulthood, creating a silent pressure to follow a specific life trajectory: securing a good job, meeting a partner, getting married, and eventually starting a family. These expectations are so deeply ingrained that they often go unquestioned, leaving little room for alternative paths. As a result, individuals or couples who decide to deviate from this norm frequently find themselves the subject of unsolicited advice, judgment, or even pity.

For spouses who decide not to have children, the scrutiny can feel especially intense. Their choice is often met with a barrage of questions like, “When are you planning to have kids?” or “Won’t you regret it later?”

These inquiries can stem from genuine curiosity, cultural norms, or even a projection of personal values. However, the underlying assumption that choosing not to have children is an abnormal or selfish decision can make these interactions uncomfortable. This societal pressure disregards the fact that parenthood is a deeply personal decision, and what works for one couple may not align with another’s values, goals, or circumstances.