At the door stood a woman in a pastel pink cardigan, headband to match, and a tray of chocolate chip cookies so pristine they looked store-bought. Her smile was bright, but her eyes were working overtime, scanning behind me like she expected a crime scene in our kitchen.

“I’m Lindsey, from across the street! Just wanted to welcome you two!” she chirped.

We thanked her, but the cookies came with a side of control. “Just a quick thing,” she added, sweetly, “our HOA only allows one car in the driveway per household. It’s about keeping the neighborhood tidy.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “We’re not blocking the street. Both cars fit fine.”

“But still,” she smiled wider, “rules are rules. One house, one driveway, one car.”

We nodded, closed the door, and laughed it off. Cookies aside, we chalked it up to an overzealous neighbor with too much time. Until three days later, just before dawn, we were jolted awake by the sound of clanking metal.

We rushed outside to find two tow trucks lifting our cars off the driveway. No warning. No notice. Just Lindsey, standing smugly on the sidewalk in a lavender bathrobe, sipping coffee like she’d just scored a victory.

“You really did it,” I called out. “You had our cars towed?”

Her smile faltered. “What’s so funny?”

I walked up calmly, pointed to the barely visible sticker on the back windshield, and smiled. “You just interfered with a federal operation. That’s going to cost you.”

Her confidence evaporated. She blinked at the sticker, confused. Jack said nothing. He didn’t need to. We turned and walked away as she called after us, demanding answers we didn’t give.

That evening, after the neighborhood tucked in, I made a short phone call. “We’ve got interference. Civilian. Property tampering. Might want to send someone in the morning.”

At sunrise, the black SUV rolled in. A man in a tailored suit stepped out, sunglasses on, and walked across the street with the quiet weight of authority. I rang Lindsey’s doorbell, and when she opened it—wrapped in her robe, clutching a mug that said Live, Laugh, Love—her eyes went wide at the man’s badge.

“Ma’am,” he said flatly, “due to your actions yesterday, you are now under investigation for interfering with an active undercover federal operation.”

Lindsey stammered, insisting she didn’t know, that she was just enforcing HOA rules. The agent didn’t flinch. “You ordered the removal of two marked government vehicles and compromised two embedded agents. Damages total $25,000.”

The mug slipped from her hands and shattered on the porch.

Jack stepped forward. “Maybe next time, don’t play sheriff of the suburbs.”

The agent concluded with instructions: she was not to leave town, not to contact anyone involved, and not to destroy any documents. Then he left without another word.

I gave Lindsey one last look. “Next time, maybe just drop off the cookies and go.”

We crossed the street, leaving her stunned in the doorway. Her blinds stayed shut after that. And those perfect rose bushes she loved? They never quite looked the same again.